Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The fraud

Each night as the sun sets far beyond the horizens. Each night as the body rests from a long day of laughter and fun.  Each thought that races and fills the soul...  Brings to light the truth of that very soul. For each new day with the rising of the sun, a new face is dawned and new life begun. Dress it all up to perform for the show, silver and silks to make it all so. An extra sweet smile and a half of lifetime gets wasted. Wasted in false words...  Yet at the end of each night, the tears are still hers. That hollow empty beat of her heart. Just can't be filled with the days of laughter.
For in the mirror, in the bed, in the echo of the walls..
She will forever be...
The fraud.

@s.irfanaleem 12.16.14

Friday, December 12, 2014

Don't Ask Why


Don't ask why the sun shines
Just know that it does
Don't ask why this mind wonders
Just know that it's lost

Everything in life
can have a reason
Or happen...
for no reason at all
So many things
this heart questions
Torn between here and gone

If truths were told in each moment
No more secrets
kept deep inside
I cringe at the images you send me
Hide behind
this lie of being a wife...

Support me financially...
Sure you do.
But love me unconditionally?¿?...
Now, that... 
That's a lie.
I don't even know who you really are,
Ashamed of this life I'm trapped in...
Living a life that's secret...
Married,
And it feels like a sin.

Why?
Why do I hide from your calls?
Your messages?...
Hide from being online?
Because it's simply repulsive...
This mess that's tangled up
and still...
Called my life!!!

What is the answer?...
The solution I need?... 
Because all I really want,
is to be me...
Be me...
and be loved...
and be happy...
...
</3 something I know
that can just
Never be..

I'll just stay trapped
somewhere between
Lost and repulsed...
Waiting... 
Waiting to find me.

@s.irfanaleem 12-12-14