Tell Me

Tell me... tell me what you really see

when you are exposed to ...
the raw, open... 
moment in time me....
what lies there... 
when hope is gone,
when beauty has died and dreams..
dreams have lost their song...
tell me... 
what you see.

@s.irfanaleem 1.28.2014

In Silence

Heart racing,

thoughts bursting,

am I human?

How can i be,

silently hurting...

How can I really be thinking these thoughts?

Have I lost my mind?

Lost my grip?

Where are the tears that I know should be shed?

The echos pound within my ears,

Blood rushes through my veins,

Yet here I sit and think of ways.

To sort this out...

As if I am sane???

Emotions... where have they gone to?...

I see these people and wonder,

Heart pounding... why do I hold on to?...

What I am afraid of?

Why cant I just go?

What makes a heart stop loving?

I know... yes I know...

What scares me... is the thought...

That I would have to face life,

If somehow, someway...

I didn't succeed...then...

Then I would no longer,

Be able to feel...  the pounding

In silence.

@s.irfanaleem 1.28.2014

Torn Between

What happens when it becomes too much?

Just too confusing to sort out?

Emotional overload...  fries the mind.

Moments together, they are so perfect,

A fairytale almost... too surreal to be real.

Then the words twist... blend everything inside.

The lines become lies and wonder...

Wonder, weighs on the lives.

Forced to live two ... one here one there.

Neither can ever just be... complete.

What has the trade off become?

One side happy.

As the other.. The other plans a fairy tale dream.

Yet neither one cares...

That there remains one...

One who will forever be...  torn between...

Never finding again, reality.

@s.irfanaleem 1-28-2014

To Breath

 

A world of change
A world of hope...
A World of confusion
A world of...
... Pain....
Disillusion is all around,
Drifting in a state of dream.
Numb, from realities truth.
Swallowing pain in all I do.
Stabling the trembling hand
Blink the tears, before they touch the skin.
Can't let others, see the pain within.

Clear these thoughts,
Fight these desires...
Find a way to make it home alive.
No one can see the real me.
Cause if I did... If I could...
Then they would hurt,
There could be no good.
So, I ache alone..
Fall apart in peace...
Put on a face.
For all to see...
And live... Live each moment...
Fighting to breath.

@s.irfanaleem 1.23.2013

Lost in the Numbers

Before you were so popular
you were warm and welcoming
inspiring, encouraging
inviting.
A place to come
to share, to meet
a place to learn, to grow and weed...
Weed out the flaws of our poetry,
learn new styles,
change techniques
even build up the courage to receive
O.o   ..... "Critique"!
Then came the numbers...
ones thousand , two thousand, three and four...
rules became "Guidlines"... Faqs and more...
no more freedoms, warmth and embrace,
no longer a growing, sharing poetry place.
We grow in bursts of energy... our minds produce
at levels that rules dont see...
how does an artist confine the muse...
to "One Post here" and "follow this prompt"
how does the inspiration know when to...
start and stop?
I hold on still to this G+ place... for it was here,
here before the one thousand came, that I found my voice...
found my muse... developed the courage
to tap into...
the inspirations within...
put my life, my thoughts, emotions in tune.
So here I hold a root, a memory, a hope...
that maybe somehow the Poets can be,
once again...
warm, welcoming, inspiring,
encouraging...
inviting.

@s.irfanaleem 1.5.2014

Silent Screams

Pushed.. shoved...mentally,
one too many times.
didnt you see? couldn't you hear?
I told you there was a line.
a thread that held this all together...
that one day
one thing
would weigh too great.
and that's all it would take
to let it slip away.

the echos of the smashing dreams,
the loudness of the silent screams...
the feel of warmth of the widening stream...
the stream of insanity.
the insanity that will release this body,
free this mind; change these lives...
for now...
for a lifetime...

let me fade, disappear...
find my way up out of here.
far away or close and gone...
let this be the final storm.

@s.irfanaleem 1.5.2014

Duties

Were they duties when I said
"I do"? ... did it mean
I do this, I do that, I do for you?
Falling in Love came so naturally
like teenagers right out of a love story.
The touch was a connection point,
something that felt right, something special...
shared between us...
I wonder... when did you start to expect,
start to see, the touch as a part of ...
the "I do, duties".... ....
no longer does it require, a mutual desire...
now, it is treated as "I want, I receive".
I cooked the food, the special meals,
the little things for me and you.
Because we spent special time,
you stood with me, talked with me, helped to prepare,
now... ... you sit and wait for the...
"I do, duties" to serve you your share.
The 'cupcake phase' as they all claimed
served to be the sweetest stage.
Dressing in the pretty things, taking time
to still be me... ... then phases passed and time changed,
now "duties" no longer leave room for the
primp, the extra time to put the pretty on.
"You don't need it" you say to me..
that sounds real nice... but maybe, just maybe...
I want to feel like more than a duty.
I want to sleep... really sleep, not just be
the warm body next to you filling the sheets.
I want to watch TV, I want to laugh, I want to read...
I want to continue living life as me.
I want a kiss to be a kiss.. a passionate exchange..
Exchange of emotion.... not a duty that responds to the intimate token.
When I stood there and said "I do"...
it was because I did...
Naturally, honestly, purely... and
most importantly... free of Duty!!!
I want to "I Do"... because I want to.

@s.irfanaleem 1.5.2014

Escape

close these eyes
make it real
take this life
let me feel

fantasy is what lives in me
a fairytale of love
places to see

quiet escapes on a quiet beach
warm sun shining down on me
quiet breeze gently blowing
easing my mind of reality

quiet...
alone...
just ...

the wonder
the colors of life
the magic outside

take me away
expose this soul
to the reality
the reality that lives within
its fantasy...

@s.irfanaleem 1.5.2014

Woman

I wish I could be the one...
The one who someone could love...
Someone would live for, love for, give for...
The woman who shops the malls...
The one who can look beautiful,
on any given day....
not just the special days, the church days,
the holidays...
The one who is comfortable everyday....
Who laughs because she is happy...
Who doesn't Need to wear sweats...
To the gym, to the store, to the mall....
No way for her to ever match up...
I want to be...
The woman who lives in the nice house...
Who has guests and feels so proud,
of her home, her family, her life...
Not ashamed of what little she has...
Not justifying her happiness,
By chasing hopes and dreams....
It's not a materialistic world....
Its just wanting to be able,
to look in the mirror and always see...
A beautiful woman... Looking back at me....
Money can't buy happiness ...
It can't buy hopes and dreams...
But money can make a woman feel less like less of society.
I don't need to be a millionaire...
But it would be nice to buy meals that taste like food..
A little variety in life would really be nice...
Then, maybe then....
I'd feel more like a woman...
and less like an object in life.

@s.irfanaleem 1.4.2014

Tarnished by Mortality

Soul mates ...
The creation of love,
felt on planes spiritual.
Loseing themselves inside a world,
a life that feels untouchable.

Falling, falling so strong and pure,
sweet love .. oh sweet love
beautiful, passionate... eternal.
Hearts beat this so true... so sure.

Humans we are in this existance,
this place.... and touchable by this world,
we will forever remain.
An eternal love may be true...
but first... ah first.... it must withstand
the trial of Mortality.

The words, the daggers, the tests of faith.
Jealousy, anger, moments of rage.
Love tested, walls will be built...
No longer the perfection of an eternal hope.
Unable to see love in a spiritual scope...

The flight of the souls that flew so free,
became grounded when touched....
by humanity.
An Eternal Love tarnished by Mortality.

@s.irfanaleem 1.4.2014

Woven Lines

Lost
Stumbling
Confused
Twirling

Mind echoes
World swirling
Body numb
Barely me

Soul searching within
Eyes seeking without
Senses failing me
Wandering alone now

Covered by a shroud
Lost in this crowd
Sorting through my words
Feeling for the way

Direction
Purpose
Reason
Hope

Open up these eyes to see
Clear the cluttered mind to breathe
Find the place in me
that lets this Spirit
once again.... roam free.....

@s.irfanaleem 1.3.2014

Prisoner

You are mine...
All that I need you give to me,
All that you keep,
Are pieces of me.

I am the controller,
the keeper of the keys.
Yet in the end,
in you lies my destiny.

It takes one wrong stroke,
a blind destination.
A place unseen,
in a single visitation.

Now, I sit and wait.
Hours, days, months...
Wanting to see...The responses
that are familiar to me.

Instead I sit trapped...
A prisoner,
to the mind of technology...
the whim of recovery...

waiting to see..
waiting again..
to be or not to be...
Freed from 'System Recovery'

@s.irfanaleem 1.3.2014