How Do I

How do I let you touch,
a body that doesn't want you.
How do I fake a kiss,
when these lips don't desire yours.
How do I lay in bed,
wrapped so tight in blankets...
building up the distance,
counting down the hours,
keeping the space, to keep you away,
until the sun rises?
These words, these thoughts, these fears...
they sound so cruel to read.
Mentally I wonder, what monster...
has silently found air to breath.
I try... try so hard,
to remember what it felt like...
To want you,
To need you,
To Love you,
To desire your arms around me,
What I felt when I layed across you,
.....just listening to you breath.
What was it that made the kisses...
feel like butterflies?
How do I find those reasons to hold you?
How do I keep you around...
When I don't even miss your smile?
How do I... tell you these secrets,
How do I stop faking a smile?
How do I stop killing my spirit?
Stop living in this lie....
How do I ...
... ....
Say Good Bye ...

@s.irfanaleem 12.31.2013

Stripped

You touched my soul
brought to life
all that hide so deep inside.
Pushed in,
twisted, shattered dreams.
Provoked from me dark memories.
Earned a place within this soul,
a golden thrown...
untouched... by the world.
You shone so bright,
My knight, you would be.
You saved me from the depths of me.
Soaring, living, loving pure.
A lifetime I swore,
I'd forever be yours.
Now here I lay,
begging for sleep...
longing for dreams to dream.
Searching for happiness, waiting for peace.
Wanting to die... or wake up and scream!
You've torn me down,
taken my soul.
Nothing I feel,
I have no control!
Searching so deep for a tear to shed.
Wishing to remember,
what it felt like to be sad.
Instead I stay stripped...
Stripped of reality,
Stripped of hopes
Stripped of love, of tears,
of emotion...
A mask I must wear now
to cover this void,
to hide this gateway...
to the endless sea,
that fills me inside.
No more storms, no more stones,
not a ripple or wave to move the water...
For you have stripped this soul bare,
and left only,
the Dead Sea, the empty me.

@s.irfanaleem 12-30-2013

Wake to Reality

The day you wake up to the reality that....
Life is not what you thought it was,
People are not who they pretend to be,
Your dreams will never be more than just dreams,
No matter how long you live...
Your life will never be yours to live freely.
....
Is the day you wake up and wish you could...
forever go back to sleep...
 .... until,
Your life could be closer to real,
People would stop pretending,
Dreams start to come true,
and Living starts the moment you breath.

Woken up too soon. :/

@s.irfanaleem 12.19.2013

Blinded

spitting words that tear apart
cutting deep the precious hearts
haunting places in the mind
wounds so vicious trapped in time.

closing eyes to find the ease
silence the anger, calm the beast
lost in questions of the heart
will daylight leave this broken apart?

slumber finds the healing touch
love reaches out to find whats left
daylight shines and hearts beat strong
the spit has dried from last nights song.

dancing on the end of romance
willing now to take a chance
love cures all... finds the place,
to mend the wounds, ease the pains.

memory fades so quickly in the arms
emotions of love guide with such charm
once again romance is true
echos ring now of "I Love You"

Blinded again is the mind from the pain
never to remember the midnight rain
Blinded by love, by soul desires
Blinded forever in the glare of loves fire.

@s.irfanaleem 12.14.2013

Fairytale

Intrigued was the mind...
By the places far away....
Love filled the heart,
Leaving dreams to lead the way.
Slowly lost to reality...
Intrigue becomes...
Left to wonder.
Slowly fading,
As dreams of yesterday...
Turn into...
Fairytales of the mind.

@s.irfanaleem 12.14.2013

Stormy

Just as life has taught me to stand strong ...
I have learned to speard my wings into the strongest winds ....
For as I stand and face the rains... I hide my tears within the streams...
The pounding forces mask the echos of my empty heartbeat...
These moments of forceful storm, will let me crumble proudly...
As I catch my thoughts, my heart... and learn once again....
To Breath....
I will dry these wings as I drift away gracefully...
My pain will not become yours to see.
　

@s.irfanaleem 12.6.2013

Believed

I believed in you
I believed in Me
I believed in us..
believed in We.
Believed in letting go
belived in shattered screams
believed in no more walls
believed in building dreams.
Believed...
Once, not so long ago..
I believed.
or was it just a dream?...
A hope?
A wish?
A fantasy?
why?... what was it that I really did...
Believe?
and when, what time, what day, what place...
did beleive turn into...
Believed.

@ s.irfanaleem 12.5.2013

Seasons Change

Is it the seasons of my heart...
The seasons of my mind?
Or is this simply the season...
Of the passing of time?

It feels like an eternity...
A lifetime ago it seems,
Since the season was the same outside,
And so much changed in me.

Was it captivation,
lost in hopes and dreams?
Now it feels like persuasion...
How did this ever come to be?

Stuck in a system of thoughts...
Trying to find reasons to believe.
Where did "I" go?
The "Me" that was so free?...
Broken chains traded for lifes fantasy.
What ever happened to living reality?

@s.irfanaleem 12.5.2013