we are all still human

May 1st, 2012...

the human mind is truelly such a wonderful gift. As life has led me thorugh this journey I haave found my mind tested in areas that seem to make not an ounce of sense.. amoungst others who seem to have completely lost thiers...  but somehow with my mind in tune to clear and greater understandings... I seems to be lacking in the simple everyday communication skills acquired to live the devious life that revolves around me.

I seek plain and simple yet honest answers. I seek fair and just treatment. Respect from al that regardless of their position, vs. mine... we are all still human.

the day before... waiting

april 4
each moment passes... and it takes us just that much closer to the time. when all the wondering and praying and hoping will finally have an answer... but now, just hours are left to wait... and each moment feels like an eternity, everything eludes realtiy... ... waiting to wake from a sleep that never came... ...

april 9
this is probably turning into the greatest storm of my life.... 1 step forward... 3 steps back... and a cloud of deception all around. . . . . who is the puppetier? the stage master? ... because this is truelly beginning to feel like a theatrical performance... and we've been sucked in as the stars... ... I'm just hoping if that's true---the final stage will be worth the wait.

april 12
What is this that my world has become? I have pulled it all and I give to one? What will become of the hearts that now lay tossed aside?... what becomes of those who are not on this ride? The world beyond no longer exists, because for each moment I live I don't want to miss, not a single thing, an important clue... nothing that can help us bring back you...

Spring Came

april 17

In the days that have passed... in the time we have spent, walking halls, hoping, searching, struggling, looking for personal strength to do all that we needed. We loved, we fought, we pulled together, and in that time... that seemed to stand still for us... ... I sit here this morning and look out the hospital window at a beautiful mountain, in full bloom of spring... ...spring... when we came he...re, there was only small simple signs, if you looked hard enough you could see that the colors were not fall but the hope of spring... and now it is here, a world or green. . . it came, when we didn't have time to stop and watch, it came.... without our wondering eyes.... .... .... proof I guess that if life is not stopped it will always go on, unstoppable, by anything, proof that there is always hope.

Give All

Susan Ray

April 19

How far would you go?.. How much would you give?.. If someone you loved needed all you could give?..

Its easy to think, in our lives each day... I'd do this for you-- that for you.... but would you give it all away?
If in an instant lives were changed... how long would it take you-- your life to re-arrange?..

There's more to give than what can be bought... more valuable ever than what is easily sought.

Give your heart, your time, your sleep. Give up the choice of what you eat or drink... give from your heart... give all your love.

Give for them each prayer you pray, each memory you make...
then, ~
then you will know you have given all you could give.

Hardship is probably the truest test of the human heart. It is through this test that we will find our strengths, feel our weaknesses and see ourselves for who we truelly are. This is also the time when we find ourselves surrounded first by those who are inclined to care, or feel they should... but its not a struggle... its hardship-- this this is the test that as we endure we will find ourselves standing among few, but it will be those few who stick it out, who walk with us through... that in the end . . . . we will stand in a different place together, knowing... every hardship ends and the human heart grows...

 

18 years... traded, for 18 days. Never in all those years of loving and caring and teaching... did I for an instant imagine that one day I would feel like life began again, and lasted 18 days... I love you more now, like that was ever possible... I respect you beyond explanation, and admire your strength, your determination,...I've thrived on your humor, your smile, your hugs, your words. I came home today to a house that seems to have frozen in time... but I feel like I have lived and entire lifetime in 18 days. And this is just a new begining. ♥ — with Tyler Vanderbilt.

... tick ... tick... tick

Susan Ray
April 5.
....tick... tick ... tick... time passes... and for you, it will feel like you just fell asleep... what will you be thinking?... will you know you are loved?.. will you know we stop breathing every few moments, as our hearts ache for you?... you stand so strong, but do you know that forever... you will be young in my heart?... my little boy, no matter how much of a man you are. so tick... tick... tick... I wait... to hug you again and know you are okay.. ♥ ....

april 26. ..a hug to remember always... ♥ ...

journey amoung friends

Through the paths we take in life, and no matter where we might end... it will always be the journey that got us there... the journey amoung friends...
april 27th 2012

Its the strongest men... who will realize, in the toughest moments in life... that wether they are the one going through it, or the one standing by... in the end the reward feels best when they can stand strong again... Together ... — with Tyler Vanderbilt and Chris McGuire.   april 27th, 2012

the story changes

April 29, 2012

how do you reach in when it feels like you can't??
what if all that you hope for and trust... .... just falls apart?? ... when do you know you can't, just... can't.. ...
or when it's just a struggle.. and in the end you will.

at some point the chapter always ends, a new one begins...
and the story changes. . .