Label Me

PTSD... And I forget who I used to be...
OCD... And I just can't Control what drives me...
Personality Disorder NSO... Even I don't know what that really means... (Non Specific Origin is rather vague) Or so it would seem...

But the one that really makes life impossible....
Frustrating beyond words...
Beyond comprehension.
Bi-polar Manic Depression...
Now that's the one...
The one that destroys the very sanity of everyday life.

Manic fuels and drives...
So full of order, energy and motivation...
When understood it brings balance to life.
A cycle that can last,
What a welcome companion it truly is.

And then... Click...
Something, someone, or even an unknown...
Just comes along and flips the switch.
Depression... Now rules the world.

Desires stripped, motivation gone...
Dark feelings hang even as the days fill with sun.
Tears for nothing, worthless is all I feel.
Walking around with 50 pounds of invisible weight...
Never knowing when it will release...

So go ahead... Turn your head....
Under your breath call me crazy...
On a good day I could care less, on a bad one...
It just might be the breaking point,
The one that will set me free.

Labels only categorize,
make it simple to see in your eyes....
What you will never see is what it feels like...
To live and breath the memories that make it PTSD.
You will never understand the uncontrollable drive
That labels this as OCD...
Could you smile at a world each day that told you
There was a disorder in your personality??...
A world that can't even label what kind?...

At least one label makes sense. ..
But it just doesn't...
Won't ever...
make life better...even with it identified.
A label doesn't change the reality of the insanity....
So label me... Then set me free...
Please just set me free...

@s.irfanaleem 5.31.14