Struggle

 

Each time in this broken mind
The struggle finds hope
Life begins to feel alive...

Someone else's version of what they see
Grips hold and shocks this minds sanity
The blinding force kicks in...

Forcing the mind to plan it out,
Step by step... slow and rational,
Being certain to clearly understand....

The ripple effect,
If life is to end at this moment...

How many pieces need to be laid straight?
How many lives need to be prepared?
How many arrangements would be struggled with?
Who would be left holding the pieces?...
The pieces of this decision I struggle to make...

How will hearts mend?
How will little ones grow?
Will it be with anger or sorrow that the void is filled?
Who will she turn to for hugs? Answers in life?
Who will tuck her into bed each night?
She will never have an answer for the call...
..."Mommy?"... No .."Yes" .. will reply from across the hall.

Yet the mind screams echos ...
Echos of Why try... Why Struggle...
What is the purpose of this life...
The ache of the heart... weighs unbearable.
At times when life just feels so unfixable....

The struggle between sanity and family...
Just might be the only thing that keeps...
The body alive through the nights.
The finest thread that holds onto life...
Is that their hurt might possibly be...
greater than what haunts the mind...
If love is released and life is discarded.

@S.I.Aleem 5.10.2014