How Do I

How do I let you touch,
a body that doesn't want you.
How do I fake a kiss,
when these lips don't desire yours.
How do I lay in bed,
wrapped so tight in blankets...
building up the distance,
counting down the hours,
keeping the space, to keep you away,
until the sun rises?
These words, these thoughts, these fears...
they sound so cruel to read.
Mentally I wonder, what monster...
has silently found air to breath.
I try... try so hard,
to remember what it felt like...
To want you,
To need you,
To Love you,
To desire your arms around me,
What I felt when I layed across you,
.....just listening to you breath.
What was it that made the kisses...
feel like butterflies?
How do I find those reasons to hold you?
How do I keep you around...
When I don't even miss your smile?
How do I... tell you these secrets,
How do I stop faking a smile?
How do I stop killing my spirit?
Stop living in this lie....
How do I ...
... ....
Say Good Bye ...

@s.irfanaleem 12.31.2013